Whos got the gun?

I've always been told "the love you give, is the love you receive." Somehow I must have gotten that wrong somewhere because lately its been "The love you give, never comes back again." But it seems easy how you could get that mixed up I suppose. It's only Monday from when I posted about how edgy I am going to be this week. Well, it's already taking it's toll on me. I had crazy dream that me and one of my younger friends robbed a house and went back to the same house but this time they had cameras and got our faces and the cops came after us. I literally woke up thinking the cops were still coming for me. It took me about 15min to tell myself it was just a dream.

I will probably have crazy dreams like that until this week is over. Being maxed out in stress and anger are not a good mix at all.

I just don't really know whats right from wrong anymore. See, let me let you in on a secret, people suck and me being a person, I suck. But see, it's not just me, it's everyone! Not saying everyone is a jerk all the time, but it's more of the fact that people have no respect, including me, I have no respect. But when you give, thats the only thing that happens, you give and you lose a little of what you once had. It mind be energy, thoughts, love, life, respect. You get the idea - we talked about it earlier, remember? I have found that my fountain of fortune is about dry and will be bone dry by the end of the week.

But wait, of course, people will try to make up for it. But so they can do what next? Who knows till it happens.

They do pin you against the wall with you hands tied and your mouth taped with a gun to your head. Heres the twist, you can at ANY point of that situation, spring out, grab the gun, and reverse the situation. But who is the bad guy? You are. So you find it best to let them shoot you (metaphorically of course) and pretend that the bullet thats burning inside you doesn't hurt that bad. As you can see them say "I love you friend." Of course they do, thats why they got you in the back.

Turns out it was just another bad dream, metaphorically of course. Looks like I'll continue on my trail of getting punched in the jaw, stabbed in the back, shot in the foot, kicked to the dirt, and spit on. It'll be alright I suppose, I'll remember to be humble and forgive them anyways. Just one more thing I'll never get recognized for. But what matters in this world is who has the gun.

See you in the afterlife...

~Paul