I don't really know.

A: What are you thinking?

B: What am I thinking? Hm, I don't really know.

A: You always seem to be thinking about something. I just wanted to be let in on you're little secrets.

B: Secrets? I have no secrets. People just think I do because I don't say anything about them.

A: About them? So you do have secrets?

B: No, I said I didn't have secrets, people just think I have them.

A: Oh, well do you have something to hide?

B: I'm pretty sure everyone hide now and again.

A: Not me.

B: Right, I forgot, you don't hide anything at all.

A: Well you know what I mean.

B: Apparently not...

A: Oh, well you should.

B: Right...I really don't think you understand what you're saying.

A: Well do you understand half the things you say.

B: Of course not....

A: .......

B: .......................

A: ..........There you go again, thinking about something.

B: Well do you want me to talk the whole time about useless nonsense.

A: No, I want you to about what you're thinking, of course.

B: .....I'm thinking my eyes hurt and they might fall out of my head.

A: That's interesting?

B: Yeah, see, doesn't really matter. See, People think I have this amazing imagination, truth is, it gets very lonely. I mean, well you wouldn't understand it.

A: Try me.

B: Seriously, you wouldn't. I don't even understand it, and it's my head.

Maybe,
Paul

What you might not know.

Here are some random facts about myself...

~ I like to shower when I wake up and before I go to bed.
~ Sometimes I think about random things so much I get a headache.
~ I wish I was taller.
~ I try to be as loving as possible.
~ I see life as one big ride.
~ I absolutely suck at math.
~ I love discussing random crazy thoughts, but taking it seriously.
~ I play guitar when I'm upset, happy, mad, pretty much any emotion.
~ I don't like people who try to outdo other people for no reason.
~ I'm a guy who enjoys clothes.
~ I like to fall asleep on peoples laps.
~ I wish I didn't have asthma.
~ Not really a big fan of icing on top of cakes.
~ Sweden is one place I could live.
~ Can't wait to get married.
~ I've always wanted to be a music star.
~ I really want to travel the world.
~ I want to change my life to be a better person towards everyone and everything.
~ I could sit all day and not say anything to my girl if she just wants a quiet day.
~ I don't read books unless I can relate.
~ Girls with a little freckles make me smile.
~ If I were to die in one hour, I tell everyone goodbye and go play guitar outside.
~ I like cool/cold weather because I like jackets.
~ I used to rock the big baggy jeans, now I rock skinny.
~ I believe in saving the Earth.
~ I believe in God
~ That means I believe in Satin
~ I believe in "I am being:" as in, "I am being: Joyful"
~ I'll eat just about anything.
~ I love pictures, but I feel like I'm invading peoples space if I'm taking them.
~ I have died before.
~ I enjoy making sarcastic remakes and making no points when I talk.
~ I could sleep all day.
~ I like to know the time of everything.
~ I am getting a headache right now....

Back in my State of Mind

Yesterday we Mandi and I jumped on a plane to come from our 28 day in Sweden. It was such a long day, because the night before I went to bed around 1 and got up around 5:40 last I remember. From there we got into the van a drove to the airport, in between Uppsala and Stockholm. From there we had to wait in line to check bags. Mandi bag (of course) was too heavy, so we had to stick some of her stuff in my bag. I can only think of what they thought if they searched it...

From there we had to go through a field of metal detectors and quickly getting your items back on you. The whole time I was thinking about my friends there in Sweden and how they loved the song Plane from Jason Mraz. Making my heart heavy as I walk to the gate where our plane will leave the ground. With my backpack over my back and my guitar in my right hand, we walk by so many different people and shops. At the gate as Mandi and I sit somewhat quiet, silent but aware we are leaving Sweden, friends, and loved ones.

Finally our row is called and we board the plane, with my guitar safely in hand. I start to worry they will take it from my caring nature. To my surprise they didn't I got it in a over head and there was plenty of room for everyones stuff too! Mandi takes her seat by the window and I sit in the middle and a nice lady sits on the other side. I thought it wouldn't be such a bad flight. As the sun is starting to really shine now through the window, I start to fall asleep before take off. My headphones already pumping some jams into my head, my eyes grow heavy.

3, 2, 1, lift off! The engines sound like one huge wave crashing on the shore. We take off and we are in the air. As Mandi sits quiet in deep thought, I start to do the same thing. 28 days start to take it's toll when you leave. After about 4 hours, I have done just about everything, from listen to music, playing with my fingers, eating candy, asking for drinks, standing in the bathroom, and watching Sherlock Holms. I felt the need to write. So I asked Mandi for a pen and a piece of paper, she got it out and handed to me with a slightly confused face. I don't hand write a lot, I just wait till I find a computer. But this time, I wasn't so I wrote a letter to someone. At first I didn't know what to write, so I wrote what I was thinking and felt. I wrote up the page front and back, to my surprise, I had a ton to say because I could have kept going. My fingers starting to hurt and the lady kept hitting my arm while I was writing. It's bad enough I write like I'm 4 but now I look like I'm stupid now.

After that we landed in the misty overcast city of Newark. Finally I can stretch, eat, walk around, relax, you know, airport things. Customs was easy and we had to move our bags again. Jumped on the airtrain and zipped to the airplane, where we would have to end up waiting 2 hours. Finally getting on the plane after an extra delay of 30min, the smaller plane was between cozy and uncomfortable. We had to fly 2 hours down the coast. From the sky I felt the urge to write again, although, that was Mandi's last piece, I decided to write on the back. The clouds demanded it, they were amazing.

Finally at the airport we walk out to my parents, who are dying to see Mandi and I, big whole hugs all around. But on an empty stomach, I was very hungry so we went out to eat. Mandi and I decided on chili's to get some almost all American food. I got the ribs, thats American if you ask me. I drank from my glass the size of my head. Answering questions from my parents. From there we had a 3 hour drive home to drop off Mandi.

I look back on my new memories and wonder what will happen next in my life now that this amazing chapter of life and it's adventure has ended. I know I'll see my Swede's again, I don't when, but I know I will.
Till the next time, I am here, at home; living and loving.
~Paul

The Sun Sets in Sweden.

Well, this might be my most memorable things to ever happen to me. This whole trip was the most...amazing, crazy, heart stopping thing to happen to me. I have had the chance to try so many new things, meet amazing people, taste amazing foods, and see so many things. As I have said before, when our flight got moved to Monday I was so bummed out. But after I got to meet so many amazing people who are now friends of mine. I just don't want to leave, or at least stay a while longer.

Sadly this awesome chapter is coming to an ending. Tomorrow, Mandi and I fly out to the USA. I really don't know what to say right now. I can't even imagine what I am going to be thinking tomorrow while I am on the plane. Although, I will literally be last weeks news by next week. I'll also know, that last week was the best week I have had, ever.

Sweden is definitely on my "to do" list for the future. I will definitely be back here for sure. I have had one heck of a time here. From learning new words to meeting new people. This whole trip was amazing!

Sadly, I have realized that I am going to miss so many things here. Mostly people. Mostly a person. But, I think we will see each other again, maybe? I hope, no! I pray! But till that next time, I will be awake and alive for life!

Jag älskar dig så mycket!
~Paul

Monday.

You know how everyone seems to hate Monday? Most people go to work, school, other important things. Well, I have always disliked Mondays as well. But this Monday I was looking forward to heading home and seeing my family and friends. Well, the volcano was more of a blessing than a horror. Now I am pretending Monday doesn't even happen every week. I have blocked it completely out of my mind.

Yesterday and Today I was given the offer to talk in the English classes. I said sure and Mandi came along to talk as well. Although I was nervous and had to do the most talking, I think everyone enjoyed Mandi and I. I met so many amazing people in the past 2 days.
But today I had the chance to play in the music class. I played guitar and sang and spoke a little about music. I have never been so nervous in my whole life I think. So many reason, some more pressuring than others. The had no music with me, nothing to drink, not my own guitar, thinking of music off the top of my head, plus, people looking at the the whole time.

I sang with my eyes shut the whole time. Pretending to play for myself, tell myself it's okay. I few times I opened my eyes and peeked to look at someone. They smiled at me while I sang and played. My voice wasn't in good conditions in this cold weather and nothing to drink, plus I was very nervous. I was shaking like a leaf.
But, I found a calming in this person I kept looking at, although, I didn't look often, I didn't want to weird them out.

Anyways, I only have a few more days before awful Monday, so maybe, if I'm lucky, I will get a strong reason to come back in these very short days. Till than i will enjoy where I am and who I am with.

Jag älskar dig!
~Paul

It's all up in the air.

This morning when I awoke in an empty house, sun shining, and people running around like ants. I thought today would be another normal day, and it was. But Taylors trip to Germany is a-go. He jumps on a plane sores through the ash-filled air to the land of Schnitzel to work through the hands of God. Tonight, the group, or team, he is going with got together to talk about if they should still go. This trip has been planned for months now. They spoke about it, shared thoughts, looked up flights, and looked at ashed areas. They have decided they are going, but have asked if God wills it he will stop the flight.
Ironic how Mandi and I will be here till Monday and we are seeing him off tomorrow. Here is the kicker, he is coming back Monday.

So, from this morning to tonight, I didn't know Taylor is leaving. Now it has dawned on me that he won't be here tomorrow. I suppose Mandi took it the same way, but is taking it worse on the ending half. But, the world-known couple doesn't let shadows snap at their ankles. They both are sharing laughs, just they have all week.

I'm more worried about their trip, they all seemed so refreshed and calm in the room talking about it. Though this volcano has brought many airlines to their knees, leaving people sleeping on their suitcases and floors of airports, and leaving most homesick. This volcano packs a nasty punch, but they all have faith that they will make it.
Here is a REAL UNEDITED picture of the volcano, Eyjafjallajokull, yes, that is the real name too...

YES, You're eyes are not playing tricks. That is lighting, lava, ash, and ice all in one picture. Although no one in Europe and the States are getting lava and lighting mixture of death. Iceland is still okay, only one side of the small island takes a beating. But it still leaves many people homeless.
My heart goes out to those in need, those without a home, those who are sleeping on cold tile airport floors, and medication transportation.

Just hold on a little bit longer, we can make it through this.
~Paul

Home is where the heart is.

I've heard a lot of things are good for the soul. But few actually turn out to be true. I would have to say that traveling is definitely considered to be one of the highest in soul growing. Meeting new people, saying new things, eating new things, seeing new places.

I've also heard that "getting there is half the fun". That also turns out to be true. It might be just you alone, on a journey to the store or across the world. Or grab a loved one or a few friends and high-tail it across the start or to the beach!

But when you are away from long periods of time, you began to feel what most people call "Home Sick". This sensation comes from the deepest part or your stomach and travels through the blood line, and under the skin.
As people know, my trip was suppose to be 19 days long, but that has turned into 28 days. Hopefully there is not +(plus) sign on the end of the 28. So while I sleep on my make shift bed of bars and springs, washing clothes so I have things to wear, using my money wisely, and learning to speak Swedish.
I have told myself home is where the heart is, wherever you hang your hat at, wherever your being is, I am There. I must remind myself to be here than somewhere else. To be there for others and myself in order to enjoy myself and the others around me.
So remember, to always enjoy yourself and others in the place you are in. With a harmonious state of mind, and stay awake for the whole ride!

Cheers!
~Paul